Dark Days
by the-anxieties
Summary: Piers can see it in his Captain's eyes...someone he looked up to..he admired so much, was falling apart. While Chris struggles with feelings of guilt, confusion, and loneliness, Piers has an issue to sort out of his own. Just a FYI, this is not a typical Nivanfield fic, I like to add alot of confusion between characters.
1. Chapter 1

Everything felt like it was falling apart.

Chris didn't feel in control like he used to…he was _tired_. Guilt wrecked him on the inside as he stared off in the distance, deep in thought. He led so many men throughout the years. _You are the reason why all your men are dead…Captain Chris huh? All those men were sent to an early grave…._

"C…Captain?" Piers' voice breaks his thoughts. Chris lets out a shaky breath and turns toward him. Piers scanned his Captain's face. He looked emotionally drained. The young soldier's brow furrowed. He didn't like to see Chris like this. "Are you alright sir?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Why don't you get some rest?" He didn't seem like he wanted to talk.

Piers left him to go to his room to rest. He sat down at the foot of his bed, unlacing his boots. He thought of Chris. He could only wonder what was going on in his head half the time. Chris sure didn't seem like he was going to tell him any time soon. It was probably better that way. After changing, Piers rolled into his bed and fell asleep.

Early the next morning, Piers was awoken by a knock at the door. It was Chris, changed and ready to head out. He left Piers to get ready. Soon the two were in the plane, heading toward their objective point. The two didn't speak during the plane ride. Chris was absorbed in his thoughts again. He seemed to do that quite often. The mission was to take out a swarm of J'avo in an area about 15 minutes away. As they neared the mission point, Chris clenched his jaw and stared straight ahead. Time to head out.

_Blood…blood everywhere. _

A few hours passed since they landed. All the while, the Captain and Piers were killing J'avo in the area. It seemed like they were out there for days…just the two of them, no backup, and no other soldiers. Piers searched the area for remaining enemies. They were all dead. He looked down at the ground, a puddle of dark blood beneath his boots. He touched at his forehead only to find blood on his gloves. He was…exhausted. His body begged for rest.

"Piers. We are all clear. Let's go." Piers turned to see Chris walking toward him. His face was smeared with a mixture of dirt and blood. He could hear his captain's heavy breathing. "Yes Sir." With that, the two headed out. They went to a local area that was set up for them to rest for a few days. It was a small motel. It wasn't much, but hell, it was a lot better than sleeping outside in the cold.

Before heading off to sleep, Chris asked Piers to talk to him for a moment. Piers entered Chris' room, his eyelids feeling heavy. He wanted sleep more than anything right now. When he stared at his Captain's face, however, he saw the same pain that it held the previous night…what was he going to tell him?

Chris took a deep breath and spoke. "Piers..." he said, "All my men…they are all gone. Everyone…b-but you...dead. All the men I commanded…" His voice trailed off as he turned away, his eyes focusing on the window. Piers felt a chill run through his spine at Chris' words; he didn't want to see his Captain like this. Not now. Not after all he had been through. Suddenly Chris turned around, and looked Piers right in the eyes. "You are all I got on my team now. We are both going to get through this."

Piers gave a nod in response. "Yes, Captain. I won't let you down." His eyes averted to the ground for a moment. "Sir…you can't blame yourself for those deaths…we have to keep moving on..." His words left Chris silent for a few moments. The Captain tried to keep his emotions in control…Piers was right. He had to stop blaming himself…but it _hurt._ To see so many of his men die in front of him. Oh God, he felt like he was falling apart...he couldn't do this…not in front of Piers. He let Piers go so he could get some rest. All he wanted right now was to be alone, and to sleep.

The following morning, Piers awoke and let his Captain know he was going to step out for a bit, to get breakfast. After speaking with him last night, Piers sensed that he wanted to be alone for a while. It was still early. His body still ached a bit, but he seemed to have a constant alarm in his head, waking him up early every morning. He went to a small diner nearby and ordered food. When his food arrived and he began to eat, Piers noticed a woman walking over to him. She had dark long hair, her skin milky white. "Mind if I sit here?"

Piers looked around. The diner was completely empty, other than the people who worked there. "Uh…sure." He said slowly in response. She sat down beside him, a coffee in her hands. He felt her eyes on him. He shifted slightly in his seat. Why did he feel so uncomfortable? Piers looked at the woman, her eyes were piercing into his.

"Well, you look like you could use some company." She was right. The realization sunk in that he wanted someone to talk to, even if just for a little while. "Yes…I would like that a lot." She smiled. The two introduced themselves. The woman's name was Sonja. She looked young, maybe in her early twenties. They chatted for a while. Piers noticed she was much closer next to him than before. He stared down at her hands. Oh...how he wanted to hold them, to feel her warm skin…to simply _touch_ them. He slid his hand over hers without thinking.

Piers heard Sonja take a quick breath in, she must have not expected it. He jerked his hand away, immediately feeling his face go warm. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"His words came out jumbled. To his surprise, she touched the tips of his fingers with her own.

" You feel so…cold.." Piers looked down at Sonja's hand touching his. Looking back into her eyes, he noticed something there. A want…a _need._

He felt her other hand touch his thigh. It slightly startled him. He could feel his body heat rise at her slight touch. The two were silent for a few moments, till Sonja spoke. "We should leave…don't you think?"


	2. Chapter 2

Piers' mouth felt dry, yet he slowly nodded in response.

The next thing Piers knew he was in Sonja's small house. In the back of his mind, he felt something was wrong…like he shouldn't be here. He didn't even know who this woman was. It certainly wasn't his style to just hook up with women like this anyways.

He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her that he was going to leave. Sonja pressed against Piers' body, kissing his lips. She cupped his face with her hands and pulled him in closer. _He couldn't do this…not now. _All he originally wanted to do was grab food and head back to his room at the motel. Chris would be wondering where he was after a while-

Piers' mind went completely blank for a minute. His eyes were closed, and he was kissing her back. He parted from her after a minute to breathe, feeling his pulse pounding in his throat. Sonja smiled, and led him to the couch in the room, sitting in his lap. She kissed him once again, deepening it. He could feel her hands wandering his body, sending shivers down his spine. Piers took his hands and pulled her closer. Oh he wanted this so much…nothing else at the moment mattered. They continued to kiss, and Sonja entered his mouth with her tongue. His mind was spinning, he felt dizzy. Piers didn't stop himself though, his tongue brushing against hers while he-

_Vibrating._ It was loud..and it kept going off. It was Piers' phone, in his front pocket. The sound startled him, and he parted from Sonja. At this point his heart was wildly beating in his chest. He knew who it was. With shaky hands he grabbed his cell, his breathing rapid. Sure enough, it was Chris. He left him a message. It read: _I need you. _

_I need you?_

Immediately Piers felt panic flow through him. Something must have been wrong. "I'm sorry…I-I have to leave-" Sonja cut him off, and said, "Is it really that important?" Her lips formed a pout. Piers moved away from her and stood. "Yes. I'm sorry.." Without another word, he exited her home.

He felt so guilty, selfish. _Stupid…stupid. I shouldn't have been there. _His mind was racing as he walked quickly back to the motel in the bitter cold. He shouldn't have left Chris alone. Not after how he looked the other night. Even if he wanted to be alone…

When Piers reached the motel, and walked toward Chris' room, he noticed the door was wide open. He felt the panic once again as he stepped inside slowly. The room was dark, blinds shut. Chris was sitting on his bed, staring at the wall. Piers could smell alcohol...and it was strong. _No…Chris…no. Not again._

He had been drinking. _A lot._ As Piers closed the door and flipped on the lights, he saw his Captain turn his face toward him. Chris' eyes were bloodshot. Piers' mouth dropped open. His throat suddenly felt dry. He didn't know how to feel…it was a mixture of anger and guilt. Maybe he shouldn't have left Chris alone…maybe this wouldn't have happened…

"C…C-Chris..?" Piers finally managed to say, stepping over to him. Chris stands up, and looks down at Piers. The smell of booze hits his nose, even stronger than before. Even when Chris was drunk, Piers was still intimidated by him, maybe even more now than ever before. He felt so small standing next to him, Chris towering over him. Staring into his eyes…_those eyes. _They were dilated, but the look they gave…Chris was completely broken at that moment.

Piers didn't know what to say or do. He just stared at him. All he could hear was his was his Captains shallow breathing. Seeing Chris like this _scared_ him. "Are you…alright?" he finally said. He mentally kicked himself for asking that. _Duh, obviously he's not. He's drunk, he's an emotional wreck right now. Do you think he's okay?_

"Piers…" Chris' voice was low, almost a whisper. "…I..I can't…I can't do this anymore.."

"W-what?" Piers said. "Captain…please. Don't. We need you out there…I need you." He was afraid. Seeing his Captain like this…a man he truly admired, broken and ready to give up on everything.

"You don't know what's going on in my head, kid…you don't understand." Chris leaned forward, his words slurred. He was inches away from Piers face. "_You never will_."

Piers didn't dare speak a word. He just looked back at Chris, shocked at his words. As Chris stood there, eyes focusing on Piers', the empty feeling he had been hiding for so long hit him harder than ever before.


	3. Chapter 3

Piers was not sure how long he stood there next to Chris, those eyes staring into his. It sure felt like forever. He felt slightly uncomfortable and unsure of what to say or do. Chris leaned forward, stumbling a bit. _Jeez…why did he have to be drunk?_

"Captain…" Piers finally managed to say. Chris just looked at him in silence. _Why did he have to do this? _Irritated, Piers went on." Goddammit Chris…look at yourself. Look what you are do-" His Captain cut him off, grabbing Piers' shoulder. "Piers…" Chris sounded weak, tired. "When I saw what happened to Finn…and the others. I just…I can't bear to see that anymore…"

Piers thoughts flashed back to the day they lost the other men…because of Ada. He tried to talk some sense into his Captain. "It's not your fault though, Sir. What are you trying to tell me…you are going to give up? What about the BSAA? I can't do this alone." Chris stepped back, averting his eyes away after hearing Piers words. "Captain, listen to me-"

"No. You listen to me, Piers." Chris leaned over to him, his voice demanding. "You don't have that huge weight on your shoulders like I do. I'm the one in charge of making sure everyone is alive in the end. Look around us. Everyone…is fucking _dead. _Do you know how I feel right now? Not at all." Piers opened his mouth to speak, but turned around, trying to control himself. Chris was frustrating to speak with at the moment, this was an awkward situation he didn't want a part of. But this was his Captain; he knew he couldn't leave him when he was like this.

"Captain…I'm trying to understand. I was there with you when we lost those men, I felt it too. Look, you said you needed me earlier. I am here now. What do you want me for?"

"Piers…" Chris said. Piers turned around, staring back up at his Captain. His eyes…he really couldn't bear looking at them. _They held so much…loneliness, hurt, guilt…_

Chris stepped closer over to his soldier, placing his hand on Piers' shoulder once again. Staring at him, Chris realized that Piers was all he had right now. He really did need him. The silence between the two left Piers feeling uncomfortable yet again. "…Sir?" He felt Chris then pull him close to his body. His hand was resting on Piers' back. He immediately felt the warmth of the other man's body against his. The action completely startled Piers, but he said nothing. All he did was listen to his Captain's breathing.

"Piers…you are all I have now…you are a good soldier. I respect the hell out of you. I don't want to lose you…" Chris' voice trailed off. Piers just stood there, trying to take in everything Chris was saying. He also wondered if this was the alcohol talking to him. His Captain was standing here…with his arm around him. He sure felt awkward. Yet the words he said really meant something to him.

"Captain…we have to keep moving forward. I'm not planning on going anywhere. But we have to both do this together…" Piers stepped back, away from Chris' embrace. "Look, sir. I-I can't have you drinking all of your pain away. I know it hurts…I know. But if you are going to be like this, what the hell am I supposed to do out there? I can't fight off those damned creatures on my own. I'm not giving up..." He looked at the ground, a mixture of hurt and frustration in his voice as he continued, "Dammit Chris. _I look up to you_. I hate seeing you like this…"

Piers' breathing became shallow, and he felt the urge to leave the room, away from Chris. He shifted his weight. "Piers." Chris sat down on his bed. "I…maybe you should go back to your room..."

As much as he wanted to do that right now, he couldn't leave Chris. "I'm sorry, Captain. I don't think I should. You are…well, _drunk_. I'm not gonna leave you like this. Why don't you just rest for a while. Please, Sir."

Chris sighed and agreed. He was exhausted, for obvious reasons. He spent the previous night drinking and managed little sleep. Piers pulled up a chair and sat down, staring at the wall. His mind went blank for a moment as he stared off, until he noticed Chris fall asleep. Was this how it was going to be? Having Chris like this really did hurt; Piers felt like there was nothing he could do to fix it. He wanted to make all of his problems go away, to have his old Captain back. He wanted his mind to be at ease. Piers' sighed, turning his head in the direction of Chris. _Like that would ever happen. There's nothing you could do for him…._

Chris opened his eyes about an hour or so later to see Piers sitting in a chair in the room. He was asleep, his arms crossed. When Chris moved his head slightly, the realization hit him that he had been drinking; he could feel it. He saw Piers shift in his seat and wake up at that moment. He let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. Without saying a word to Chris, he stood and walked over to the door. When his hand gripped the doorknob, he then heard Chris' voice.

"Piers? Where are you going? Stay. Please…"

Piers slowly turned around to face his Captain. He watched Chris get up from the bed and walk over to him. "I need you Piers." _**I need you.** He said it again. What does he mean? _"What?" Piers looked at him, confused. Chris just looked back at him, stepping closer. He was now close enough that the two mens bodies were touching. Piers began to feel his heart pound as he watched Chris lean forward, closer to his face. "C...C-Captain...?" his voice came out in a whisper. He stumbled back slightly, hitting the wall. Chris took his hand and touched Piers' face, running his fingers down his cheek, his thumb tracing his jawline. Piers swallowed uncomfortably, wanting to speak..to say something. Once he opened his mouth and started to protest, he felt Chris' finger trail over his lower lip. "Shhh..." Chris mumbled. He took his other hand and drew Piers closer to him.

Piers felt like he was frozen at this moment, unable to move. His heart was racing, mind spinning. He was trying to take in everything that was happening at this moment. _No. This was not happening. Captain...what are you doing? _

"Piers...you are all that I have.." Chris spoke softly, so close to Piers' ear. "I-I...need you Piers." He murmured the last four words again, stroking the younger mans face. Chris felt so close...so warm next to him. Piers was trembling slightly. He just stared into Chris' eyes, struggling to find the words to say to him. _Nothing. _Chris lowered his face closer to Piers, and as soon as he did, the two heard a knock on the door from the other side. The noise made Piers jump. He took advantage of the moment and slipped out of Chris' arms, his breathing rapid. _Talk about timing. _

Chris stepped back, breaking out of his daze. He turned around, pulse pounding. _What did he just do?_ He put his hand over his mouth, eyes widening.

Piers went for the door, opening it. Behind it stood Sonja, the woman he ran into earlier. She was glaring at him. _Why was she here? _

This was too much right now. Too much.


	4. Chapter 4

"What are you doing here?" Piers narrowed his eyes at Sonja. In a way he was relieved to see her; he wasn't sure what was going to happen in the room with Chris. He wanted nothing more than to be away from his Captain right now. "Piers Nivans?" She said, handing him something. He looked down. It was his wallet. "You left this at my place."

"Oh. Thanks…" He said flatly. _Odd, how did she know where I was at? _Piers continued to stare down at his wallet, his mind still preoccupied with the events that just occurred a few moments ago. Sonja nudged him lightly. "You alright?" He looked at her. "Yea..I'm fine." He looked back at the door behind him for a second. "Why don't we leave here?" Sonja smiled as she nodded.

He didn't care what he was about to do, or where he was going with her. Piers just wanted away. He touched his cheek for a moment as the two walked outside in the cold; mind flashing back to Chris' fingers trailing down his face. His words repeated in Piers' head. _I need you. __**I need you. **__Okay, calm down. He was drunk, that's all. He wasn't trying anything. He's your __**Captain. **_Piers took a deep breath. Maybe he was over thinking this.

"Thanks for returning my wallet…didn't even realize that I left it." Piers said, forcing himself to push his thoughts elsewhere. He went on, not realizing he was beginning to ramble. "Also I'm sorry for just leaving you like that earlier, I'm not usually like that…well I mean…I guess I have a lot on my mind and something came up-"

"Shh…it's alright. Don't worry about it. Maybe it was a good thing you left it, wasn't sure I was going to see you again." Sonja smiled. "You seem like you could use some company anyways." She took his hand as they continued to walk. When Piers entered her house once again, he hesitated, wondering what he should do. _Should I even be here? What was Chris doing? What if he was drinking again? _Sonja touched his face, stepping closer to him. Piers met her gaze, and leaned close to her face. Letting his needs take over, he kissed her lips…slowly, softly.

He didn't care about anything else right now. Not Chris or his next mission. Sonja parted from his lips. "Hold on, I'll be right back. Wait here." She motioned towards the couch and walked into her room. Piers sunk into the couch, grabbing his phone. He had a few messages, all from Chris. They read:

**Where are you going? And who was that at the door?**

** Okay you can't leave like that without telling me where you are going. **

Piers sighed, putting his phone away. _Fucking Chris. _He didn't need him to act like he was his Mother. Going back to talk with him probably wasn't a good idea at the moment. He wouldn't even know what to say or do. Piers was so lost in thought he didn't realize Sonja sat down beside him. "Piers," She touched his shoulder. Her slight touch caused him to intake a sharp breath. "Relax…"

"Sorry…a lot on my mind I guess." He mumbled softly. Sonja gave him a slight smile, leaning forward, into his lap. "Maybe I can fix that." She placed her hands on his chest. She didn't kiss him though; she waited for him to make the next move. Piers stared into her eyes for a brief moment, his hand touching her cheek lightly. He then pulled her close as his lips met hers. Instantly his previous thoughts and worries escaped his mind. He didn't care about anything right now; just this moment was all that mattered.

Piers cupped Sonja's face with his hands, deepening the kiss. His tongue traced against the seam of her lips, silently begging for entry. She opened her mouth, letting out a soft moan and kissed him back. Moments later, he buried his head between her shoulders and her neck and kissed her there, letting his tongue taste the skin between his lips. Piers heard Sonja moan slightly once again, her hands on the back of his neck. He suckled at her skin lightly, wanting to hear her reaction more. It made him feel so good; he needed the conformation that he was doing something right. Just knowing it filled an empty void, even if it was temporary, he didn't care. Right now he wanted her…

**. . . .  
**

Some time later, in Chris' room, he sat down, staring at the wall. He held his phone in his hand, running his fingers across the smooth surface. He had sent a few messages to Piers, in which he never responded back. As soon as he sent the last one, he instantly regretted it. He looked at the time. Piers had been gone for an hour now.

Chris ran his fingers through his hair. His head was pounding. _Whatever. Maybe I should just leave him alone. _He took a deep breath, and as he did, he received a message. A mission to head out the following day and terminate some more J'avo. _Shit. _Okay, now he needed Piers.

**. . . . **

Piers awoke to the sound of his phone buzzing. He moaned, not wanting to get up. Turning his head, he noticed Sonja next to him, asleep. He looked at the time. He must have dozed off for maybe 30 minutes. Piers checked his phone. Chris left him another message, about 15 minutes ago. It read:

**Got a update from HQ. Get back over here now. **

Piers instantly felt panic. He jumped up and grabbed his clothes, scrambling to put them on. As he was dressing, Sonja awoke, sitting up. "Hey, where are you going?" He turned to her. "I have to leave. Work." He muttered. As he looked at her, he felt a strange feeling, something he didn't want to feel. Like he was being torn from her, and he hated it. He knew he had to go, and that he would most likely never see her again. Knowing this made him regret what he did with her.

"Oh. Alright then." She said, standing. She walked over to him, placing her hands on his chest. Piers looked down at her, frowning. He kissed her before exiting the house, back out into the cold. He walked quickly to the motel where Chris was at, waiting for him. He was a bit nervous to face him.

"It's about time you decided to come back." Chris' voice sounded irritated. "Next time I try and contact you, at least say something back. You can't just run off like that." Piers stood there, looking at Chris, hesitating with his words. _Well, Captain, you kind of put me in an awkward position earlier. _He would have loved to say that, but no. He wasn't going to speak about that, and hopefully Chris wouldn't either. "Sir. I-I'm sorry. It won't happen again." His words came out quickly. He was nervous; the last thing he wanted to do was piss his Captain off.

"What's so important that you needed to ignore me?" Chris stepped over to Piers, staring down at him. Piers felt so tiny, he was afraid to speak. What would he say? The truth? _I was having sex with someone?_ Nope. Chris was making him feel even more guilty for what he did.

"I just needed some air is all…Captain I'm sorry. It's just…you were pretty drunk earlier...and I don't like to be around you when you are…like that." Chris backed away after hearing Piers' words. His mind flew back to the moment right before Piers left the room, his hands stroking the younger mans face. How close the two were standing next to each other at that moment. The warmth he felt being that close….

_Shit. What am I thinking? Okay…focus. _

Piers looked at his Captain, feeling even more nervous under his gaze. He could only wonder what Chris was thinking at that moment.


	5. Chapter 5

"So…who knocked at the door earlier anyways?"

The question caught Piers off guard. _Fuck. How am I supposed to answer that? _He didn't like to lie to his Captain. "Uh…it was a woman I met earlier, when I went to get breakfast. I left my wallet by accident. She returned it for me…I-I was with her." He left out his breath slowly. Well, it _was_ the truth. Not all of it, but the truth. Chris furrowed his brows after Piers' response. He could put two and two together. Piers was gone for a while so something was obviously going on. Deep down he didn't like it; knowing that made him jealous. It was mainly because he had been feeling quite lonely lately. Chris turned away from Piers for a moment, trying to focus on why he wanted him here in the first place.

"Sit down." Chris instructed. He motioned to the chair in the room. Piers silently obeyed, as his Captain debriefed the next mission. For whatever reason, hearing Chris speak about this calmed him. Tomorrow should be a better day. Everything will go back to the way it was. Chris seemed to be in focus. After he was finish speaking, a silence fell between the two.

"Are we good now?" Piers said, standing. He just wanted to go back to his room, where he could be alone with his thoughts. "Yeah…go ahead." Chris muttered. "I'm gonna step out in a bit to get some food anyways." After Piers left, Chris stepped into the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He looked like crap. Well, that's how he felt too. It was obvious that he didn't get much sleep lately. He ran his fingers across the stubble on his chin. _Whatever. _When he was ready, he exited his room to find a place to eat.

Chris went to a local bar not too far from the motel. _You are already making a bad choice, you have work tomorrow. _He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he kept telling himself that he wouldn't drink _too_ much. All he really wanted was to talk to someone else. Chris thinks back…he doesn't even remember the last time he was with a woman. He hated spending his nights alone.

Chris sat in the dark in the bar, drinking. He scanned the room. There weren't many people in the building other than a few woman and men, chatting. A woman was sitting near him. She was by herself, drinking slowly. He got up and stepped over to her. "Mind if I sit here?" She looked at him, frowning. "Sorry…I'm kind of waiting for someone."

About 30 minutes later, Chris had drunk more than he should have. He tried to approach a few women, and got shut down by each of them. Did he really come off that helpless? He receded back to the dark corner where he felt he should have stayed in the first place. It hurt so much right now. He didn't even care about the mission tomorrow. He just wanted to be with someone. He couldn't take the empty feeling any longer.

**. . . **

Piers was sitting in his room. He looked at the time. It was getting late. He realized he hadn't eaten much that day. He didn't really mind though. He wasn't hungry; he was more concerned with mentally preparing himself with tomorrow. Piers always wanted to be in complete focus when he was out on the field.

Just then the door opened, and there stood Chris. Piers got up from his bed, looking at him. Something wasn't right. He could feel it. Chris shut the door from behind him and stepped over to Piers. When he was face to face with him, Piers could feel his heart rate quicken. Then it hit him.

_Shit. He was drunk…again. No. Why was he doing this to himself?_ Piers could smell the alcohol on him, and it was strong. "Ca-Captain?" He sputtered. He did not want to be in this situation again. Piers moved back slowly, and hit the wall. He was trapped, and didn't know what to do, or what Chris was going to do.

Chris grabbed Piers' face, slowly stroking it, as he did earlier. Piers swallowed nervously, struggling with his words. "Chris…w-what are you-"

"Shut up. That's an order." Chris' voice was low, demanding. Piers' breath caught in his throat. He wouldn't dare talk back to Chris, not when he was in this state. He wasn't sure what his Captain was capable of doing. So he just stood there, and said nothing.

His fingers were rough against Piers' skin; they trailed across his cheek, slowly down his neck. Piers felt his breathing quicken at the light touch. _Okay, this is not happening. There is no way this is happening. _

Chris lowered his head and his lips met Piers' neck. As soon as Piers felt his lips on his skin, he opened his mouth. "Ah...Chris. Sto-" Chris silenced him by pressing his body closer against him. Now he was basically sandwiched between his Captain and the wall. His eyes met Piers'. "I told you to shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear another word. Got it?" He was dead serious. Now Piers was afraid. But he nodded, instantly regretting doing so.

Chris went back to Piers' neck, and he began to kiss him there. Piers was shaking. Time felt extremely slow at that moment. He didn't know what to do. Piers felt dizzy, his mind spinning. He felt his Captain's cold hands slide up his shirt. He was touching his chest. He felt Chris suck lightly on Piers' neck, his tongue touching the skin. _Oh God. _ Piers sucked in his breath. _What am I supposed to do? Just sit here and take it? _

When he felt Chris' tongue trail from his neck to his jaw line, Piers' mind went blank. He wanted to fight back, say something…but what good would it do? He felt disgusting. He just wanted this to be done and over with now.

Chris grabbed Piers' face and kissed him. It was rough, and Piers didn't want any part of it. He struggled to push away, but Chris was stronger than him. His kisses were hungry..._desperate._ He continued to kiss him for a few moments. Piers took advantage for a second and pushed his face away from him. Surprisingly, Chris didn't stop him; he just looked at Piers.

Piers forced himself to speak. "G-god dammit…Chris…" Piers' face was hot. "W-what the fuck is wrong with you?" He didn't even care right now. The words were hard to say, though. His throat suddenly felt tight, and he found himself taking quick breaths.

Chris' stare was intimidating, but Piers didn't give in. He was struggling to hold his composure. He took another breath, feeling his heart beating wildly in his chest. He was still trying to take in everything that just happened.

"Get out." He said, stepping away from his Captain. He looked down at his hands for a moment, realizing they were shaking. Piers wanted nothing to do with Chris right now. He was hoping some kind of switch would go off in Chris' head that said: _What the fuck am I doing? _


	6. Chapter 6

_(A/N) Hello all...thank you for reading and reviewing! Hope you like the story so far._

_**. . . . . . . **  
_

_**.  
**_

Chris didn't leave the room, though. He just stepped closer to Piers, and looked down at him. "What did you say?" The smell of booze on his breath was disgusting. It really seemed like he wasn't going to back down, which set Piers' nerves on edge.

"You heard me." Piers said. He continued to stand his ground. Chris placed his hand on Piers' chest and leaned even closer. He was almost touching his lips. Piers gritted his teeth, his breaths short and quick. "If you have any respect for me like you said you did, _Captain,_" He stressed the last word. "Then you would see that I don't want to do this."

Chris took his hand and grabbed Piers' chin. He stared at him intently for a few seconds, and then backed off. "Fine. I'll leave. But I'm not done with you yet." With that, he exited the room, leaving Piers standing there, his mouth slightly open. _What the hell just happened? What did he just say to me? "I'm not done with you yet?" Okay…what the fuck?_

Piers sat down on his bed, and put his head in his hands. He tried to steady his breathing. He was still trying to figure out what happened. His Captain came on to him. _Oh, God. This was not happening. _The thought of seeing Chris' face the next morning when they start another mission terrified him. How could he face him? This was going to be horribly awkward for him, he could feel it now. Piers took a shaky breath, and looked at the time. Okay, he needed to get some rest, if that was possible.

**. . . . . . . . .**

The following morning, Piers awoke early. He got ready and left his room. Chris was already standing outside his door, waiting. Piers saw his face, and his thoughts instantly flew back to the previous night. _Calm down, just don't say anything. _He took a deep breath. His Captain looked him dead in the eyes. "Ready to go?"

"Y-yes Sir." Piers said quickly, looking away. The mission point was far; this was going to be a long ride in the helicopter. It was just Chris and Piers, no backup. When the flight took off, Piers kept his eyes focused on the floor. He really didn't want to look at his Captain right now. The silence was awkward enough for him. The whole situation last night left Piers on edge; he felt trapped just sitting next to him.

Chris just sat there, arms crossed, deep in thought. Piers wondered what he was thinking about…he sure hoped that he did not remember last night. He did have a lot to drink. Just thinking about it made Piers frustrated again. He hated when his captain drank; he became such an asshole. As much as he didn't want to, Piers felt like he had to keep an eye on Chris. He didn't want to see him drunk again; he could only imagine what he would do next time. Piers let out a sigh, trying to focus on the mission. He eyelids felt heavy though, from lack of sleep the previous night. _Only for a few minutes, just a bit of rest. _He closed his eyes.

Chris glanced at Piers, and noticed he had nodded off. _Ah well, let him sleep. _It was going to be a long ride anyways. He continued to look at him, and noticed something. Piers had a light reddish-pink colored spot on his neck. _Shit. _Then it hit him. He remembered what had happened last night. Well, _some_ of it. He recalled being so close to Piers, kissing him, his tongue and lips on his neck…but everything else was a fog to him. _How much did I drink? Fuck…what was I thinking? _Chris' eyes went to the floor, as he began to bite his lower lip. _Oh God, this was not good. _He could not remember how Piers' reacted in the situation at all. Or how far he went with him. After that last thought, Chris felt panic run through him. He tried to remember, but he couldn't. So all he could do for now was hope he didn't go too far with Piers. He mentally slapped himself, trying to regain focus. He was becoming such a wreck lately, and now he was bringing Piers into it.

Piers awoke some time later and noticed they were almost at the mission point. He wasn't sure how long he had slept. Chris was sitting there, next to him, awake. He turned to Piers. "Finally awake huh?" His Captain forced a small smile as he went on. "We should be there soon."

Piers wished that his calm words made him feel better, but truthfully, his mind was still a mess. He gave his Captain a nod though. "Yes, Sir." His voice sounded low. He looked down at his boots and focused on them. He was making it obvious that he was feeling out of place and slightly uncomfortable. Piers didn't want to do this, but he couldn't help himself.

When they finally landed, Chris and Piers ventured to town over run with J'avo. There was a lot more than they anticipated. "Piers, stay close." Chris instructed. "We have a lot of these fuckers to take out. Let go." Within moments, a group of J'avo appeared. "Go!" With that, Piers and Chris began shooting at them, bullets flying. Piers got in a few close range head shots. They seemed to be doing fine, until a few J'avo began closing in on them. Chris pulled out a grenade and threw it straight ahead.

The explosion was loud, and when the smoke cleared, the two searched for any remaining J'avo. Six of them appeared, all armed. They began shooting at the two. "Take cover!" Chris shouted. The avoided all the bullets, but one. One hit Chris in the arm, and he screamed in pain. Piers whipped his head around to see Chris holding his fresh wound. "Captain!"

Piers' adrenaline was rushing like crazy at this point, and he mustered all the strength he had to take out the remaining J'avo. Now Piers was standing there, staring at his Captain. His breathing was rapid. Blood was everywhere…on Piers, all over the ground. Nothing much was left of the creatures but scattered remains.

Seeing his Captain in danger set something off in Piers…it was like an unknown strength took over him. Whatever the hell was going on with Chris earlier, Piers didn't care. All he cared about right now was that he was safe…that he was alive.


	7. Chapter 7

...

Chris stared at Piers, his eyes wide. He still could not believe Piers took out all those J'avo so quickly. "C-Captain?" Piers stepped over to him. "Your arm…are you alright?" Chris was still gripping his arm where he had been shot. "Yeah…I'll be fine," Chris muttered. "I owe you one." Piers was frowning. "But, Sir…you are wounded..." His voice trailed off. "Don't worry about it. Like I said I will be fine…just gotta patch this up." He then began to communicate with HQ, discussing that the two defeated the enemies in the area. All the while, Piers looked at his Captain, watching the blood run down the fingers that held the wound. He was slightly mad at himself; he wished he shot down the J'avo before it got to Chris.

"Piers. HQ has a place set up for us not too far from here. Let's go." The two walked on for about 10 minutes till they reached the rest area. Luckily Piers found a first aid kit inside. As he treated Chris' wound, he could feel his Captains eyes on him. Chris didn't say anything to him, though, until Piers was finished. "Thank you, Piers…you did good out there. I've never seen you take out so many of those damned creatures in such a short amount of time." Piers felt his face grow warm, and he looked to the floor. He hadn't heard Chris praise him in a while; he really liked it when he did. It drove him to want to do better. He looked back at him smiled. "Thank you, Captain…I appreciate it."

"Piers...I'm going to rest. Why don't you take a shower or something? You've got blood all over ya." Piers entered the bathroom and inspected himself. There was dried blood on his clothing, as well as his face. He noticed in a closet near the room with clean clothes. When he finished showering, he walked back into the room Chris was in to find him asleep. Piers noticed the other bed was in the same room, beside Chris'. The realization made him slightly uneasy. It's not like Chris was going to get drunk, he had nothing to worry about. His mind kept going back to the night Chris was all over him. _Whatever. I'm tired. _He rolled into his bed and soon fell asleep.

Piers opened his eyes some time later to find Chris sitting in a chair beside his bed. He was half asleep. "Captain...jeez." Piers steadied his breathing. He wasn't expecting Chris' face to be the first thing he saw as soon as he opened his eyes. He noticed Chris has showered too; he was wearing a white tank and jeans. His bandage was changed as well. "Sorry Piers. Been having trouble sleeping lately..." Chris mumbled slowly, looking at him. He was giving Piers a look…_that broken look_ Piers couldn't stand. The look that Piers wanted to wipe off his face…the one he wanted to make better.

Chris sat down beside Piers on the bed. "Listen Piers…I just wanted to say I'm sorry…I know these past few days have been rough. If I can be perfectly honest, I've been feeling like shit, and you…_you_ are the only thing…that's keeping me going right now." His eyes were on Piers' now. Piers felt his face get hot quickly; he wasn't expecting Chris to say that. "Uh…Sir." He was struggling with his words. "I-I…" He looked away.

"Piers…look at me." Chris said, leaning close to him. Piers obeyed, feeling his body grow tense. He felt Chris' hand slide over his. They felt warm against his skin. Chris' face was inches away from his face at this moment. "C..can I?" he whispered. Piers drew in his breath. He knew what Chris wanted. The words Chris had just said to him though, still left him speechless. He didn't know what to think. He feared refusing to his Captain. Piers nodded. As soon as he did, Chris' lips met with Piers. He kissed him slowly, waiting for Piers' reaction. Once he felt Piers kiss him back, Chris felt relief flood him. Piers wasn't pushing away…did he really want this?

Chris took his free hand and touched Piers face as he kissed him. His other hand was intertwined with Piers fingers. Piers parted from Chris' lips. "C-Captain…" he whispered. Chris stroked his cheek. They both were staring intently at each other. Piers felt his pulse racing as he brushed his lips against Chris', his fingers gripping his Captains rough hands. When he felt Chris' tongue enter his mouth, Piers let out a moan. Chris was enjoying every moment of this. He tried to control himself, but his hormones were rushing like crazy. As he continued to kiss Piers, his hands began to wander his body. He could feel Piers' tight muscles beneath his thin shirt. Chris lowered his lips to Piers' neck, kissing him there. Piers was biting his lip, his hand searching for Chris'. "Mmm….C-captain…" he breathed out. He found his Captains hand and held it. Piers felt so good…his lips…his skin…everything. Chris didn't know what he was getting himself into with Piers…all he knew was that he wanted and needed him. Piers felt Chris lean in closer to his body; feeling his hard member straining against his jeans.

Chris gently pushed Piers down onto the bed, his fingers sliding up his shirt again. His hungry lips met Piers', kissing him deeply as his hands stroked at Piers' chest. Once Chris began to fumble with his belt, Piers felt panic rise within him. "C…Chris." He moaned, parting from his Captains lips. Piers sat up, shaking. "I-I'm sorry…I…I can't do this." His voice was quivering as he looked down. He felt horrible for even responding back to Chris' actions. In truth, hearing Chris say that Piers was the only thing keeping him going as of late…the words really affected Piers. He really did care for and admire Chris, and he wanted to do what he could to see him happy. But this…he could not do. He felt so terribly guilty sitting here with Chris beside him. His face was burning red as he drew in short breaths. "I'm sorry…I..I wish I could…I just…can't. I care a lot about you, Sir…but I cannot do this with you.."

Chris was silent for a few moments.; all Piers could hear was his breathing. He then spoke. "Don't be sorry…I..don't know whats going on with me lately…I keep losing people left and right...Fuck...I'm such a mess…" His voice trailed off. He was still lying on the bed, covering his face with his hands. "I'm not going anywhere, Sir.." Piers said. He wished he could find the right words to say to Chris. The whole situation, however, left him feeling worse than he did before. He was so confused…he had no idea what he wanted, or how he felt about Chris now. He knew he felt something when he was kissing Chris back...and he didn't know what to make of it. Piers let out a shaky breath. The whole thing scared him...he felt like pushing Chris away...yet he wanted him near at the same time. Piers put his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down, to slow his racing heart. He really didn't know what to do right now. At all. _  
_

..

.

(A/N): _So what do you all think so far? Piers is so confused...does he know what he really wants? Thanks for reading!_


	8. Chapter 8

...

Piers opened his eyes. He felt very warm. He turned his head to see Chris lying there next to him in bed. Piers hadn't realized that Chris fell asleep…or that he had either. Chris wasn't touching him or anything; he was simply sleeping and he looked peaceful doing so. Piers suddenly felt uncomfortable knowing he was this close to his captain. Yet at the same time, he wanted to touch Chris' face, feel his stubble beneath the tips of his fingers. He still couldn't tell where all these feelings were coming from. Perhaps they were always there and he had been pushing them away. Still, these feelings felt strange and new to him, and he didn't know how to deal with it. As far as Piers could see, from what happened earlier it seemed like he didn't want anything to do with his Captain in a sexual way. In truth, Piers wasn't entirely sure. The thought scared him, even more so due to the face that he liked it when Chris kissed him. The other day however, Chris was drunk, loud and pushy. Piers hated when Chris was drunk, and wanted nothing to do with him.

To make matters even worse, this wasn't just anyone. This was **Captain Chris Redfield**. His _damn _Captain. To feel something towards his Captain felt wrong to him. Isn't their relationship supposed to be strictly professional?

Piers let out a sigh. This wasn't going to be easy. Chris opened his eyes just then, looking at Piers. "Oh…did I fall asleep here? S-sorry." Chris quickly sat up. Piers had the urge to say something, to tell his Captain that he didn't mind him lying there next to him, but he shut his mouth. Piers closed his eyes, trying to stay calm. Chris walked out of the room and into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. _What was going on? _Chris wanted to say something to Piers so bad. Piers' actions were confusing Chris….one minute he hates when he touches him, the next minute he seems like he wants Chris to. Well, Piers was kissing him back earlier. Then he says he can't go through with it? Maybe Piers was just really confused. _Hell, _Chris couldn't blame him. He was too; though he knew he felt something for Piers. He hadn't felt anything like this for another man before. This was all too confusing. Chris walked back into the room to find Piers sitting at the foot of his bed.

A silence fell between the two for a moment until Piers spoke. "So…what now? Are we awaiting orders from HQ?" Chris shrugged. "Guess so. Right now we don't have much else to do really." He sat down on the bed, grabbed his boots and put them on. "All I know right now is that I'm hungry…so I'm going out to get something to eat." He put his coat on and then lingered near the door for a moment. "Are you going too?" Piers nodded. "Uh. Yeah, sure." The both left the house in search for a place to eat. They found a small diner not too far away. When the food arrived, the two ate in silence. The awkwardness was bothering Chris; he wanted to say something to break it. Every time he opened his mouth, however, he wound up shutting it. He stared down at his plate, watching from the corner of his eye as Piers scraped his fork against his plate. It was the only noise coming from his as he had been quite the entire time. "Piers." Chris finally said in a low voice. Piers looked at him, not saying a word. "Are you gonna talk to me or not?" Piers bit his lower lip and looked away. " I…I..." his voice trailed off. He was beginning to feel even more uncomfortable now. His mind was such a mess, still clouded with the events that took place earlier. "I'll be right back."

Piers got up to go to the bathroom, well, to really get some air and recollect his thoughts. On his way to the bathroom, he bumped into someone. A woman. "S..Sorry Ma'am." Piers sputtered quickly, looking at her. The woman looked up at Piers. "S-Sonja?"

Indeed, it was Sonja standing there, her dark eyes and pale skin. _What the hell was she doing here?_ "Oh…Piers!" She exclaimed. "Didn't think I'd see you again." She wrapped her arms around him tightly and whispered, "I missed you..." Piers felt his heart sink. Did she really mean that? Once she let go, she looked at him and said, "Why are you here in this area anyways?" Piers wondered the same thing with her as well. "For work. I was just grabbing some to eat is all." He answered. Sonja smiled. "Maybe it was a good thing we bumped into each other then…how long are you staying? I could keep you company for a bit if you want..." She grabbed his hand and held it. Memories flew back to him just then; the time he spent with Sonja. How good it felt to be with someone else…to touch and hold them.

Yet at the same time he thought about Chris. Oh God…he couldn't stand the way he was feeling right now. "I'm not sure really…maybe a day or two? I'm not too far from here, though. I am here with someone right now, so I better get going." Sonja frowned at his words. "..Someone else…?" He shook his head, his eyes on Chris. "Its someone I work with." Sonja noticed Piers' eyes on Chris, who was sitting on the other side of the room. She then looked back at Piers. "Okay. I will let you go. But Piers, please…I want to see you again. Here take my number." She gave him a small piece of paper, with her number scribbled on it. He shoved it in his pocket. "Thanks. Well I have to go. I'll see you."

With that, he walked back over to the table Chris was sitting at, waiting for him. He wondered if Chris saw him talking with Sonja. "Let's go." His Captain said. When they exited, Piers glimpsed at Sonja once more. Chris noticed him staring at the younger woman. Her eyes, however, were not focused on Piers. She was looking at Chris, dead on. He stared right back at her. He sensed something strange as the two gazed at each other. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was _something. _Sonja smiled.


	9. Chapter 9

Chris let out a deep breath; the air was crisp and cold outside. The cold didn't bother him too much. He just learned to deal with it, among _other things_. His eyes focused on Piers, who was walking in front of him. Piers was a mess, Chris could tell. This made Chris feel guilty, hell_, he felt guilty half the time for whatever reason. _He hated it.

"Piers." He said. Piers looked at him as the two walked back to the motel. Chris had that all too familiar tone in his voice…like he wanted _something_. Piers frowned. He really didn't want to talk right now. He just wanted to be alone, to try and figure out what was going on in his head. Chris expected the silence from him, but went on. "…are we going to talk? You know…about earlier?" Piers felt his heart thudding against his chest at his Captains words. There was no avoiding this conversation.

They reached the door to the room, and went inside. Piers sat down on his bed, pulling off his jacket. He then turned to Chris and said, " Honestly…I'm confused. I…I don't know. You are my Captain, Sir. I don't think it's right…" His voice trailed off when Chris sat beside him. "Look Piers…you know all as well as I do that you did everything on your own. I wasn't forcing you to do anything. Something is there, Piers. Don't you see it?" He leaned close to Piers, brushing his fingers against his face. Piers shifted slightly. "C..Captain…" Chris moved in close to kiss him, but Piers moved away. "I'm sorry.." He said, his face beginning to get warm. "I just need some time alone for a bit. I..I need to think. Please understand." Piers grabbed his coat and put it on. As he did, a piece of paper fell from his pocket. He left before Chris could say another word.

Shit. Chris felt like such an idiot. He stood, and picked up the paper Piers dropped from his jacket. It had a phone number scribbled across it. He wondered who the person was. Did it really matter though? He shoved the paper in his pocket and paced the room for a moment. He hated this right now…Piers was gone; all he wanted to do was talk with him and sort everything out. He understood that Piers needed space but at the same time he wanted to be near him. Chris left the room and went back out into the cold.

It was beginning to snow. Chris scanned the area. It was strangely quiet…the kind that made him slightly tense. "Excuse me." A voice said. Chris turned around. A woman was standing behind him_. That woman._ The one he saw earlier…the one who was staring at him in the diner.

"You…" Chris said. She smiled. "Ah. I saw you at the diner. I'm Sonja." Chris continued to stare at her. The woman's cheeks were tinted a shade of pink from the cold. "Chris." He replied back. Sonja crossed her arms as the wind blew. "So what are you doing out here by yourself? The snows coming down you know." Chris looked ahead, letting his breath trail out of his mouth slowly. "Nothing really. Got nowhere to go right now." Sonja stepped closer over to him. "Then you wouldn't mind if I walked with you?" He eyed her for a moment. She was young, no doubt about it…maybe in her early twenties. He couldn't help but find her attractive as well. What did she want from him? He wasn't used to random people being so friendly.

"Not at all…I guess I could use the company." Sonja smiled at his response, walking ahead. " Good. Follow me." Chris shoved his hands in his pockets as he followed the young woman. She led him to a cemetery. This was the last place Chris wanted to be. His mind flew back to all the men he lost. "It's crazy…" Sonja said, "All these graves….I bet they are running out of places to put people. I heard about these…creatures killing people. They look like mutated humans…I mean Ive never seen one but I have heard of them before. They say it's not safe out here anymore."

Chris clenched his jaw at her words. She was talking about the J'avo most likely. They were the only creature in the area. "Yeah…it isn't safe out here. I know…I've killed many of them." Sonja's eyes widened after hearing his words. She was looking at Chris, but his eyes were on the graves. "I'd rather not be at a place like this right now…it brings back bad memories." Sonja hesitated for a moment. "I'm sorry…I..I didn't know." She stepped over to Chris, and he turned towards her. He noticed the snow in her hair and on her dark coat. Her skin looked even paler outside with the snow surrounding them. He also noticed her slide closer over to him, watching her shiver slightly. "We should go."

Chris narrowed his eyes. Anywhere but standing in the graveyard would do. The wind began to pick up just then, and he could feel the sting on his face from it. Sonja began walking away, Chris following close behind. Where she was going with him he didn't really care. The two were in the woods now. It was silent other than the wind whistling in the cold. He noticed a small building up ahead. How odd to find this in the middle of the woods…It looked to be a cabin. Sonja ran over to the door. "We should go in here…its getting bad out." She inspected the area for a bit. "It looks like it's abandoned." Chris opened the door. Indeed, the place was empty. Whoever lived here, they were long gone by now. The inside was rather plain, what Chris had expected. There were 3 small rooms, a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. It wasn't luxury, but it was out of the cold and snow. Chris could handle the weather, but he didn't want to leave Sonja outside in it. He watched as Sonja stared out the window, her eyes focusing on the storm. He stepped over to her, and as he did, she turned around. She looked up at Chris, slightly bumping into him. He felt her hands on his chest as she tried to balance herself. For a brief moment, he thought he should touch her…to draw her closer. Well, she _was _cold. But he stopped himself. He just stared down at her, feeling his body grow tense. "..you alright?" Chris could feel her fingers part slowly from his chest. "Yea. S..sorry." she said, "Hm. I guess we should sit down for a bit. Might as well wait for the storm to calm down some."

Chris looked around. There wasn't much room to sit anywhere, other than in the bedroom. He found nothing but a bed in the room, with a thin sheet covering the mattress. Sonja sat down and looked back at Chris. "Sit down.." she said softly. When he did, she smiled slightly. "Might as well keep warm…you know?" The words cause his pulse to beat faster than normal.

He watched as Sonja's hand trailed slowly toward his own. Her hand felt cold against his, but comforting. Both of their eyes locked. "I wonder if I will even be here tomorrow. With everything that is going on…some days its so normal for me…then other days…I just…don't know…I don't know what to think anymore.." Chris began toying with her hand; his finger circling her palm. He didn't want to hear about any of it…all he wanted was a distraction from it for a while. Sonja leaned in close, as if answering his thoughts. He slowly wrapped his arms around her. Sonja nestled her face in his chest. All he could hear was her light breathing. Then he felt her lips on his neck. _Wait. What was she doing?_

Sonja took her hand and brought them up to Chris' face. She kissed him. It was a hungry, desperate kiss that Chris was not expecting. He didn't even know what to think. Chris' mind went blank when she deepened the kiss. She pushed him down on the bed. Chris stared up at her, turned on by her sudden change of behavior. His mind was spinning now, he didn't know what was going on.

Sonja was straddling him, her hands on his chest. She ran her fingers across his body. He felt himself harden quickly. Chris watched as she removed her coat and shirt, exposing her milky skin. Sonja lowered her face to his. "Kiss me.." she murmured. He obeyed without thinking about it. His lips meshed against her and he kissed her hard. God Chris' body screamed for release, he wanted this _bad._ The cold room was nonexistent at this point. He sat up, pulling her into his lap as they continued to kiss. Chris lowered his lips to her nick, kissing her slowing as his hands explored her body. He wasn't sure how much longer he could control himself.

All at once, Sonja pulled away, her breathing rapid. Chris noticed her face was flushed. She rolled away from him and went to the corner of the room. Chris felt his heart pounding. What was going on? Did he do something wrong? "S…Sonja?" He asked.

Sonja had her hands against the wall for balance. He noticed her shaking. She held her head, muttering to herself. "No no…no no no no…not again.. **no no no no**!"

Her eyes began to bulge out, and strange noises came from her throat. Chris watched in horror as she changed into something he had never seen before.


	10. Chapter 10

_(A/N) Just a little note, this is not a typical Nivanfield fic. Obviously I made both Piers and Chris confused in what they want and how they feel about each other. Anyways, hope you like the chapter. It gets better for them. _

_**. . . . . **_

Sonja's face was twisted, eyes bulging out. Her face looked like it had been ripped open, exposing red muscle beneath. Her teeth were sharp and jagged. Blood was all over her, dripping from her body. Chris stood, backing away from her. His hands flew to his back pocket. _Shit_. He didn't have his gun. All He had was a knife. The creature Sonja had become was slowly beginning to walk over to him. She let out a scream; it was loud and shrill. Then she lunged at him.

She pinned Chris down on the floor, her face close to his. Her breathing was raspy and quick. Her nails dug into his flesh, scraping and cutting his skin open. Chris' heart was thudding quickly; he knew he had to react now. With all his strength, he pushed her off his body and stood. He pushed her against the wall, staining his hands with blood in the process. He took his knife and quickly shoved it into her chest, repeatedly. Chris didn't stop until the creature stopped moving. She fell to the ground.

Chris looked down at his hands, his breathing rapid. Blood was all over his hands. His arm was bleeding. The wound was deep. He suddenly found himself struggling to breathe. His mind was spinning. Then everything went black.

**. . .**

"C-Captain?...Come on…g-get up…please…." Chris opened his eyes to see Piers' staring back at him, his face full of worry. _Piers!_ He had never been so glad to see him. Chris sat up, and immediately felt pain shoot through his arm. "Oh my God…C-Chris. What happened? Are you alright? Y-your arm…." Piers was frantic. Chris heard Piers stand and pace the room. He then knelt back down and was wrapping a cloth around his Captains wound. All the while Piers was muttering quickly, "What the hell happened? Why are you even here? Blood…there's blood everywhere. What is that…thing over there? That's not a J'avo, what is that? Sir…are you listening?"

Chris scanned the room. The bloodied remains of Sonja were crumpled in the corner of the room. Piers helped Chris to his feet. "I killed her. She…she changed into this creature. I had no choice-"

"Wait…what? Start from the beginning. Why are you here?" Piers asked, staring at the ground. He took a deep breath. The smell of blood was making him sick. Chris rubbed his temple. "I..I don't know…after you left me earlier, I went outside and found this woman. She led me here…I knew something was off about her. Then…she mutated. I didn't even know who she was or anything other than her name…Sonja." Piers eyes widened. _Sonja? Wait...what happened?_

_That fucking whore. She did this. To him. To my Chris. What was I thinking, leaving him like that?_

Whoa. Where did that come from? Piers shook his head, trying to focus his thoughts. It was all too much to take in right now. "Captain. I'm sorry for leaving you. I should have stayed. Then this wouldn't have happened." Chris put his hand on Piers shoulder. "Piers stop. You are here now. Let's get out of here." The walk back to the motel was filled with silence. Piers glanced at his Captain every now and then. He still hadn't calmed down after finding Chris on the floor. So much blood everywhere. Piers was afraid that he had lost Chris. His throat felt tight just thinking about it.

When they reached the motel, Piers began to clean Chris' wound. He had a cloth and a bowl of warm water, cleaning the blood from Chris' arm. Piers felt Chris' eyes on him as he dressed the wound. "Thank you Piers…I owe you one." Piers nodded. "I'm just glad I found you…I was afraid…that I lost you, Sir." He tried to control his emotions. "I don't know what I would do…" Piers moved closer to Chris, touching his hand with the tips of his fingers. Relief fell over Chris as he turned to Piers. He could see the concern in his face. Chris wanted to kiss Piers; to forget everything that had just happened. He touched Piers' face with his fingers, feeling his face heat up at his slight touch. When Chris leaned close to his face, Piers could feel his heart beat faster and his breath quicken. Chris brushed his lips against Piers' lightly, but stopped himself from going further. He thought of what happened last time he kissed him. _Dammit_…why did Piers have to be so difficult? He wanted him, he knew how he felt for him. Chris just wanted Piers to give in so badly. When Chris moved away, Piers felt his heart sink. Did he do something wrong?

"Piers, I'm gonna rest for a bit." Chris said, lying down on the bed. Piers frowned. "C..Captain." He was looking down at him. That look Piers was giving him. It was like he was a broken puppy. Fuck…why was Piers doing this to him? He was so damn confusing. Chris wanted him, he was sure of this. But he couldn't do anything, not now. Not till Piers was sure what he wanted with Chris. He sat up, looking at Piers. "Okay…what's wrong?" He scanned Piers' face. This intimidated Piers, causing his face to grow warm. "What?...Nothing, Sir." _Why was he lying? _

"Piers." Chris said. _That was all he needed to say_. The tone in Chris' voice was simply enough; he knew Piers was lying. Piers looked to the floor quickly. Then it hit him. He knew how he felt about Chris. He was trying to push it away. But why? It scared him mostly, but he knew it was right. It felt right to him. There was no point in denying it anymore. He wanted to be with Chris, to protect him.

"I-I'm sorry Captain. About everything," Piers felt himself beginning to ramble. "I didn't mean to push you away. I was scared…confused. I know how I feel about you now. After seeing you like that earlier…I didn't know what to think. I don't want anything to happen to you Chris. I-I need you."

Chris couldn't believe the words coming from Piers. After all the shit that was going on lately, hearing Piers say that made all his negative thoughts and worries disappear. _They needed each other._


	11. Chapter 11

_(A/N): Thank you for reading and reviewing!~_

. . .

Piers looked down at his shaking hands. He couldn't believe he finally opened up. What was the point in denying it? He knew he felt more for his Captain than admiration. He looked up at Chris to see him smiling slightly. Piers mouth opened and felt his breath caught in his throat. It was pretty rare for him to see Chris smiling; just that simple action caused Piers' face to heat up. He was doing nothing and everything to him at the same time. _Dammit Chris. _

Chris leaned in closer to him. Piers swallowed slowly, staring at his Captain. He touched Chris' face, feeling the stubble beneath his fingertips. The two looked at each other intently for a moment. Piers brought his lips to Chris'. It felt so good…a kiss he was completely sure of. They continued to kiss for a few moments more till Chris parted from him. "I…really should get some rest. Stay here with me, please." Piers nodded, laying down beside Chris. For a moment he just sat still, unsure of what to do. He stared at the ceiling, listening to Chris breathe in and out. He glanced at Chris quickly, and saw that his eyes were closed. Did he fall asleep already? Piers felt tempted to slide closer to him, to place his hand on his chest. He wanted to feel his muscles, explore the rest of his body. Just the thought of it made Piers stiffen. _Shit. Okay calm down._

Chris turned to Piers, his eyes open. "Piers…relax. You're shaking.." Piers didn't realize he was that nervous. "Yes..Sir." He felt his Captains hand slide up his back, drawing him closer. Piers took advantage for a moment to place his hands on Chris' chest. Once he did, Chris shot him a look, half smirking. He brushed his lips against Piers' slowly. He wanted to savor every moment of it. He heard Piers let out a slight moan. Piers ran his hand up Chris' arm. He felt something wet beneath his fingers. He parted from Chris and looked at his hands to see blood. Piers looked at Chris' arm to see the wound bleeding again. "Your arm…" He said. Chris gripped at his arm and felt the blood. He looked at his hands for a moment, breathing short and quick. Honestly Chris didn't care about the blood right now; all that was on his mind was Piers. Chris leaned forward and kissed Piers, this time rough. Piers pushed him away. "Chris." His voice was demanding. "I have to look at it. C'mon."

The two sat up and Piers began to examine the wound. The cut was deep; he would need stitches. "I have to patch this up…let me see what I can find." He exited the room and came back a few moments later to tend and dress the wound. All the while, Piers was thinking of when he found Chris earlier. _So much blood._ Piers swallowed slowly; just thinking back to it again made him uneasy. For a moment back there, he thought he had lost his Captain. Piers looked at Chris. He cared for him so much. "Thank you Piers." Chris said, "I don't know what I would do without you.."

Piers nodded. "Please, Captain. Get some rest…you need it." Chris closed his eyes. Soon after, he fell asleep.

**. . .**

_Blood. So much blood. All over the walls, the floor. Everywhere._

Chris heard nothing but his heavy breathing. _Where am I?_ The room had a stale smell in the air. _Death_. Zombies were scattered on the floor. He looked at his hands to see them stained with blood. When he looked back up, he saw a large creature staring down at him. It has more eyes than Chris could count, with many sharp teeth. Its mouth was open, saliva dripping everywhere. Its arms were jagged and dripping with blood. Chris frantically looked around, for someone, anyone. _Piers?_ Where was he?

Piers suddenly appeared in front of the creature. Panic began to rise in Chris. "Captain!" That was all Piers said before he was attacked by the giant creature, its claws slicing right through him. He had no time to react. It then lunged at Chris, shredding his skin open. _"You are pathetic…you let everyone die. Fucking waste of flesh. Die."_ Chris struggled to move as the creature went on, its voice raspy. **_"DIE. DIE. DIE!"_**

Chris' eyes flew open as he sat up quickly. He drew in quick breaths as he looked around. He was in his bed, Piers beside him, sleeping. _A_ _dream._ It was a dream. That's all. He placed his head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. He got up and walked out of the room, and into the bathroom. Chris placed his hands on the sink, staring into the mirror. He couldn't even look at himself. He stared into the sink, at the white color. He tried to focus on something else, the white didn't blank out his thoughts though.

"C-Captain?" Piers walked into the room. Chris' back was facing him. Piers touched his shoulder. Chris turned around, and at that moment, Piers could see something in his eyes. Something was _very_ wrong. Chris didn't say a word. What was wrong with him? Piers wanted to ask, but the look Chris was giving him told him to keep quiet. Chris touched Piers' face lightly. "Sir?" Piers finally managed. As soon as he spoke, Chris backed away and left the room. "Captain? Whats-" Chris cut him off. "I have a lot on my mind right now. I…need to be alone for a while." His voice sounded low, and his eyes were on the ground. Piers lingered in the room for a moment, wondering if he should say something. He wanted to know what was going on, even if Chris wanted to be by himself. He saw Chris grab his boots and begin to put them on.

"Where are you going?" Piers asked, walking over to him. "Out. For a while." Chris said flatly in response, his eyes focused on lacing his boots. "What? No..you cant. Look what happened last time you left." Piers voice was raised. Chris turned toward him. "Look. I just want to be alone for a while. I'll come back okay? Just stay here." He grabbed his gun. Chris left without letting Piers protest any more.

Chris exited into the cold outside. The air was still, quiet. Snow covered the ground. He let out a deep breath. His mind was such a mess right now, and he didn't want to bring Piers into it. The dream he had was like a huge slap to the face; it made him feel so guilty. He thought back to all the men he lost, and felt the anger build inside him. _Dammit, he wanted to scream._ He entered an alleyway to find some J'avo. They noticed him and ran towards him, weapons ready. Chris grabbed one and smashed its head into the brick wall. He spun around and shot at the other two with his gun. All at once, half a dozen J'avo appeared, running towards him. Chris backed up, firing at them. A heavily mutated J'avo swung its arm at him, striking him in the back. The brief moment Chris fell to the ground, a few surrounded him with guns. Right before they were about to fire, a bullet struck each in the back of the head.

When they fell to the ground, Chris saw Piers was standing there, with his rifle in hand. "What the hell is wrong with you, Captain?" He was furious. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" Chris stood, turning away from him. Piers grabbed Chris' shoulder. He roughly pushed him away. "I told you to _leave me alone_. I didn't need you to come out here."

The cold tone in Chris' voice hurt Piers. "…what's gotten into you? You can tell me." Chris looked at Piers, feeling his throat go dry. His eyes quickly averted to the ground. "It doesn't matter…I'm only going to let you down…"


End file.
